Freshman Year

We live in a generation plagued with this obsession with perfection. This phenomenon has been expedited with the infusion of social media into our daily lives, where everyone only shows what they want you to see and not what is really happening. Because of this, it seems as if everyone has put up this facade online in order to prove to everyone about how "perfect" their life is. That is not me, so here is the true story of my Freshman year with the ups, downs, and everything in between.

​ I would consider myself to be a very independent person. My entire life I've been waiting for the moment where I can finally spread my wings and leave the nest. So, when I got to Gainesville in August of 2018, I really hit the ground running. I was going to club events, playing intramural soccer and volleyball, at the library every single night working, making close friends, and going to all the football games. I was so free and happy during this point of my life. However, I was so excited that I lost control of my health.

Something I didn't realize was that it is very easy to get lost in the crowd of Gainesville. It's a huge school. Back home, I was my class president, captain of the varsity soccer team, a part of my school's Thespian program, in the National Honor Society, and ranked 5/450 students in my class. At UF, I was just an 8 digit ID number. This was a culture shock to me. I felt so small. I felt like I had lost everything important to me. For the first time since I was 6 years old, I wasn't on a soccer team, and this made me feel like a failure, like I had worked so hard in the past for nothing.

​With this, I started to up my work ethic. I would spend most of my time at the library or the dining hall, working. This was detrimental to my mental and physical health. I was going to bed at 6 AM and waking up at 8 AM for my lecture. I started eating maybe 1 meal a day; Sometimes, I'd go the entire day without realizing I'd only had a coffee to drink. Alongside all of these, I started to get very high anxiety and sleep paralysis. I'd lay in my bed all night, frozen in fear. I wasn't even sure what I was afraid of. I was so excited for this new journey that I completely neglected my well-being and happiness.

When I returned for the second semester, I knew that it was necessary to make a huge change in my life. I was happy with my friends, my boyfriend, my classes, and my experience, but I knew I couldn't carry on treating my mental and physical health like second best. I was the same me, just not as lively and healthy. I knew that going into the second semester, I had to change.

So, I decided to start powerlifting. This was the best decision I have ever made.

This second semester, my quality of life skyrocketed. I have better classes, wonderful friends, a healthier lifestyle, and this is all due to to my new schedule involving the gym. I now go to the gym almost every day. I've seen a huge difference in the inside of my body, as well as the outside. This wouldn't have been possible if I blamed others or sat around and felt sorry for myself. My friends and family were so supportive and excited for me in this new journey of lifting and my boyfriend especially helped me with his support, positive demeanor, and his coaching in the gym. I created this for myself, and I have noticed such positive effects on my livelihood.

Not only did I start going to the gym regularly, I decided to buy a ticket to London on a whim. I got a great deal on a ticket and decided to take that chance! I had the most amazing time (minus a bout of food poisoning at the hands of an egg-salad sandwich) seeing the culture and history that London has to offer for the second time. I am so grateful that I had this opportunity to spend my Spring Break in Europe, because it is such an amazing place to see and it really taught me how to be an adult. I had to plan this trip alongside Lance and make sure we had enough money and resources to last us the entire trip. I'm already planning another vacation to Europe next year!

​ There is a bull on my home page. To some, it might just be an image of a Spanish bull that goes with the Barcelona header. It is actually Ferdinand, the bull from the children's book, "The Story of Ferdinand", which I used to read as a child and still keep with me in my dorm room. This is the most prized possession that I own, because it is a story that I have always identified with. In the story, Ferdinand is happy just smelling the flowers while all of the other bulls used to fight each other, because that's what they are supposed to do. One day, Ferdinand accidentally gets stung by a bee, and when he freaks out, all the matadors mistake him for this ferocious, tough bull. When they take him and put him in the ring, rather than fighting just to please everyone, he sits and smells the flowers, like he usually does. This makes everyone so upset, so they drop him off back at his home, where he continues to be happy smelling the flowers.

This idea of individualism and always staying true to who you are is something that I have constantly been tested on. It's easy to put up a front of who you are just to please people. Sometimes, the hardest thing you can do is be yourself. Throughout this year, I have focused on myself and taking control of my own life. I do not focus on others, and dwell on what they are doing, because I think that is a toxic trait to have. The only thing you have control over is yourself and what you can do to make yourself the best version you can. Never let your circumstances define you, because you will never be happy. And finally, ever single aspect of my life is happy.

Overall, I learned so much in just this one year. I am so grateful that I ended up here at the University of Florida and I cannot wait to continue this upward spiral next semester! :)

#typography #lessons #expert